So I just got done with my CRT appointment. It never ceases to amaze me how much you can learn about yourself during cognitive recognition sessions. I’ve been in and out of therapy for 15 years and I’ve never found a more effective method. Every visit brings new revelations about me as well as the reasons that I continue with self destructive behaviors.
Today I was dealing with the obsession that I have developed about my current financial troubles. I thought that the anxiety attacks that I was having were a direct response to pressure of being behind on my bills. And, in a way, that’s true. But the real thing that I was obsessing over was the sense of failure that I felt when I thought about how I ended up in this situation.
Truthfully the details are a bit inconsequential. I let a bad relationship control me and I made some really stupid decisions. I should have put a stop to the emotional abuse long before I did. But I kept on trying to buy a better relationship. I took out a home equity
Loan to help pay for our bills when he lost his job and by the end I had more unsecured debt than I make in a year.
But it’s not the money that I feel bad about. I have kept telling myself that I was too smart to end up making a mistake like that. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter how smart you are. Everyone is going to make mistakes. I have always been a very caring person and unfortunately there are bad people who will take advantage of that. I’m not saying that I couldn’t have made better choices, but I now realize that I must live with those decisions and that constantly punishing myself will neither repay the debt or help me recover.
My hat’s off to Dr. Husni. I’m not sure how I would make it through this rough time without her.
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Your Right Ever one makes a mistake but comes out of the is the good thing
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely true. Mistakes are the steps to success.
ReplyDeletecommitting a mistake is normal it is part of the cycle of life..just stick to this "as much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier or the opposite one..
ReplyDeleteAll of us commit mistakes. Just what happen to me with my present relationship. I was abusing her emotional weaknesses a I thought i won't fall into critical relationship. She got pregnant due to my agressiveness. But that's not the problem at all,her parents did'nt let me see my daughter. That's the worst thing happen to my life.
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