My CRT Journal

From time to time I will be posting journal entries about the progress of my cognitive recognition therapy. You’ll find the insights and more often ramblings that come to me as I explore my own mind during my this process. I will be referring to multiple different sides of my personality by name here. This does not mean that I have multiple personality disorder. This is simply a way for me to identify the different sides of myself and how they help or hinder my recovery from depression.
So, let’s introduce the cast of characters.

Angel – One of the main personas, Angel is the protector. She’s who I become when I feel hurt or angry or scared. Angel is a product of some traumatic experiences and my 15 year struggle with mental illness. She’s also the most destructive or damaging side of myself. You’ll probably hear a lot about her.
Alice – As in go ask Alice. I’ve never even read it or know what it’s about, but for some reason that’s the name I identify with the damaged part of me. The part whose job it is to feel all of the pain for the others. No matter how many defenses you put up to keep out your depression someone still has to experience all the bad things that happen inside your head. That’s Alice.
The VEQ – A reference to the book Like People In History, VEQ stands for Very Efficient Queen. You know the type. My reaction to crisis, although usually other people’s, The VEQ (and yes you must say the “The” every time) is extremely organized and driven. I actually talk faster when I’m in this mode.